Easier said than done... I know. In the current space on social media our feeds are filled with highlight reels of people's beautiful lives. I am also so guilty of that but as I get closer to one year postpartum, I look back at what I wish people had told me. So here it is.... Mama, give yourself a little grace. There is no better mama for that baby than you!
Navigating motherhood is the hardest thing I have EVER done. Things change constantly and everyone will tell you something different. We are in a weird place where we want to empower women and be "honest" but only if we don't make ourselves look bad. But we should all be more honest about our experience instead of only showing the “Instagram worthy” moments. So here’s my honest experience of being a mom 10 months in: Things were hard! And my baby is a freaking easy baby! I struggled with postpartum depression and still continue to struggle with anxiety. As a fresh mom I felt like I had to be all smiles and positivity because God forbid someone know I was struggling. But here’s the truth: ▪️Labor sucked all 26 hrs of it! ▪️Having a c-section didn’t bother me BUT that combined with the above made the whole experience nothing like what I expected. ▪️I didn’t get to hold the little human that had been inside me 24/7 for 9 months for almost an hour. Literal strangers got to spend time with and hold her first. ▪️She just appeared, boom out of no where (at least that’s how it felt) I didn’t have an overwhelming bond with my baby when I first looked at her. It killed me everyday and gave me overwhelming guilt. I knew I loved her, but the perfect feeling everyone described didn't happen for us. It took time and that's ok because now we're there and I'm obsessed with that chunky cheeked squish. ▪️Breastfeeding might have been harder than actually giving birth. I broke down on day 2 when they told me I had to supplement with formula. As much as it doesn’t matter it made me feel inadequate. One more thing had gone wrong for us. Since then I was constantly worried about pumping, making enough milk, and the boob pain! Omg the boob pain, clogged milk ducts are no joke! As our journey is coming close to an end I am so glad I never gave up. Just know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and things DO get easier!
▪️On the note of breastfeeding...My former assets are not twins, they aren't even sister's anymore they are at best step sisters. I'm really looking forward to wearing a bathing suit with one being a DD and the other being a C cup. Oh and my new pooch post C-section...super. excited. ▪️I barely ate in the beginning, I was lucky if I got to eat more than one meal a day as baby girl was constantly eating...on me. So I was bound to my couch. Get snacks and keep them close! ▪️I felt alone and isolated more times than not. Thank God I have an amazing support system that reminded me everyday that I was doing a good job and things would come with time. Did I always remember that...no, but I tried. And you know what they were right!
Although my experience is no where close to “IG Worthy” I wouldn’t change it, well except more sleep I will always take more sleep! I truly believe everything happens for a reason and time will tell what that is for us. But the best advice I have is as moms we need to give ourselves a little grace. So let's all remember things will never be perfect and they don’t have to be! Let’s take everything one day at a time, heck maybe even one hour at a time! And reassure the moms in your life that they are doing great! And mama give yourself a little grace!
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